I don’t really share much about myself because am aware that there’s a bunch of people out there who are “judgemental”, critical and just outright negative.
Uni is the worst.
It’s filled with people who somehow think they have to have an opinion about everything that other people do. Like she wearing a mini skirt because she’s desperate or she a hoe so and so told me so. Damn!! It gets on my nerves.
Here I am living my life unprovoked , minding my own business and suddenly everybody wants to be in my business.
Negative people come in all shapes and sizes.
So far I’ve found 6 types of negative people (trust me there’s more).
1. The Gossip
If you want to hear gist about Suzy, this is where you go. They will spread the most unreasonable rumors about you and when the story gets to you you’ll even wonder if it was you they were talking about. Beware of these people because after they are done talking about Suzy and your gone best believe they are gonna talk about you next.
2. The pessimist
All they see is what’s wrong with the world. They have a hard time seeing the positive in the situations around them. They are the Messengers of doom.
3. The victim
They will turn the tide on every situation they are into and make it seem like they are the ones who are wronged (the victim). They don’t take responsibility for their actions and blame everybody else for their problems.
4. The underminer
These ones will pretend to be your friends but will always be critical about you. They will point out all the bad things about. They don’t care about the things you do right. They are there to howl like wolves whenever you make a mistake(so that everyone should see that you have). I had a few people like this in my life P.S I cut them off… that’s why I used the word “had”.
5. The complainer
Everytime you meet all they tell you about is the problem that they have .Day in day out they are mopping around and talking about how life is so unfair.
6. The critical
These ones aren’t your friends, you don’t even know them nor talk to them but they find joy in pointing out your flaws. They are super judgemental and feel that they deserve to always say shit about you (always the bad).
N.B we all complain about things in our lives but where it becomes negative is when that is all you do. It’s when you don’t see the lays of sunshine, shining through the cracks.
How can you deal with negative people? In a way that won’t leave you exhausted and drained?
1. Usually I’ll just ignore them
They are doing these things because they want your attention. They want to get into an argument with you. They feed on drama. When you don’t give them any then they have no one to engage with.
i used to respond to negative things until i noticed people only said negative things because it caught my attention
2. Stay away from negative people
If you don’t add value to my life then I don’t have to include you in my life. If All you do is try to pull me down, then why should I keep you near me? When you are surrounded by negative energy it’s very easy for you to get sucked into it and become negative as well. Keep your life free from all the drama and negativity. People in your life should be reducing your stress and not causing more of it. If they don’t add value to your life, stay away from them.
3. Spend your time with people that make you happy (create your Happy space)
When you are around people that make you genuinely happy it’s hard to listen to all that negativity. It’s just you and your circle in your Happy place and nothing else matters. It is important that we all have that happy space.
4. Set boundaries
Be honest, and tell people how you want to be treated. Say to them, look , I don’t like it when you say these things, they make me feel bad. Sometimes people don’t know when they are being negative. Setting boundaries will allow people to know which lines they shouldn’t cross.
5. Expect it
Instead of being surprised when negative people say harsh things to you, expect it. You know that this is what they do, stop clinging to the possibility of them changing and don’t be surprised when they’re at it again. This is just the way they are. This way it stops being about you but everything about their nature.
6. Remind yourself of all the good things in your life.
There’s a lot of good in your life and sometimes it is very easy to overlook them and focus on the negative. When people are being mean to you, deflect your thoughts to all the good in your life. There is light in every situation , the trick is to acknowledge it. You have good friends, you have a family that loves you and you have big dreams. This should all mean something to you.
7. Take up a new hobby
The trick is to get absorbed with doing things that make you happy. This will lead to you having a more fulfilled and drama free life. Spend your time doing positive things, things that keep you preoccupied, so that you don’t get sucked into other people’s negativity.
8. Don’t think about the past
There’s something that we should all accept and that is that perfection doesn’t exist. There will be times in your life that you will make mistakes, that’s part of being human. It’s sad that people these days expect others to be perfect such that when you just make a mistake they will use it against you forever. My past is in the past and am not trying to think about that right now am busy trying to create my desired future. And if all you want to do is bring up my past then I don’t even wanna be around you. Because what good will bringing up my past do you or me?
9. Don’t argue with a negative person
Sadly I learned this the hard way but either way am grateful for the lessons. When you engage with them, they get all defensive and they will use all they have to make sure they hurt you more. In the end nothing good comes out of arguing with a negative person. But a lot of bad comes out of it.
You create enmity
You waste your energy on people who don’t add value to your life
You get sucked into the negativity and by proxy become negative yourself.
10. Avoid trying to change negative people
Instinct will tell you to go to them and try to fix them , but don’t. When they are ready in their own space and time they will change. When you try to change them, they will turn on you and say you are acting all high and mighty like you are perfect. They are negative , they will try to make you feel bad for approaching them in the first place. It can easily turn into an argument.
Negative people are all around us and learning how to deal with them without draining our own energy is vital. Always remember to limit the time you spend with people that continually drain your energy and add no value to your life. You deserve a life filled with positivity. What you allow into your life is up to you. It is up to you to choose to live a positive and fulfilling life that is uninterupted by other people’s negativity.
“If you are willing to look at another person’s behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves, rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time cease to react at all.”
“Negative people need drama like oxygen, stay positive, it’ll take their breath away.”
“Live life fully aware of the lessons that you get from negative people. They show you the person that you do not want to become. They show you how not to treat others.”
That is all that I have for you today, see you next week and stay positive .