Choose yourself


Most times I have been out here putting other people before me. I have disregarded my feelings just so I could put other people’s feelings into consideration. I know what you’re thinking, and then I go out there wondering why the hell I end up exhausted every time things don’t work out.


I call this the typical ‘others come first syndrome’ you could also call it ‘the lack of self-love syndrome’ or ‘the selfless disease’. So, how do you know that you have it?


  • You make sacrifices for others at the expense of your own wellbeing
  • How others feel comes first before how you feel
  • You give all your time, money and other resources to make sure they are happy
  • You begin to have less and lesser time for yourself to do the things that you love
  • You lose your sense of self
  • Everything is about them
  • In conclusion they can run all over you and you’d still be the one going to them to say sorry.

    If you are my typical person and is experiencing these kinds of symptoms I suggest you calm down, don’t panic, it is not the end of the world because Nellie’s got you (wink).

    Trust me I’ve been there and it aint pretty because you basically lose all power and control over to the other person. The best advice I’ve ever gotten when I was in such a time was ‘choose yourself’. You as a person also need someone who’s going to take care of you and it might as well be you. Learn to choose your own happiness over everyone else’s. The fact is that you are not being selfish ‘it is called self-love’. You need to look out for yourself or no one else will.

    Putting that in mind the path to choosing oneself starts with acceptance. Accept that you made wrong judgments by sacrificing your happiness for others. Accept that you literary neglected yourself, your feelings and needs just to please others. After you have done that I need you to forgive yourself for not knowing better. You don’t know what you don’t know and beating yourself over it will only make you more miserable.

    So next time you find yourself in a sticky situation, choose yourself and do not apologize for doing it. You deserve the best of all this world can give.

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