Being and feeling beautiful in a society that advocates for perfection is daunting.Our society sets impossible standards of beauty. If only your hair was straighter or if only you wore hair extensions or if only you wore make up. Anything that doesn’t go by these standards is not so beautiful anymore.why do you think companies selling hair relaxers or hair extensions sell a lot?
So you can imagine that having pimples is not part of the beauty standards. You know what, Beyonce said it and she was right , pretty hurts and perfection is a disease. I started having pimples when I was 12-13. 9-10 years later I see the marks they left on my face.
Trust me I’ve had my fair share of acne removing creams but no matter what I do nothing seems to work. To add on that my complexion over emphasises the blackheads on my face. Somehow everybody always seems to be like “if you’d do that they’d go or if you used that you’d see a change”. What worked on you will probably not work on me and I’ve learned that the hard way. I went from feeling beautiful to being identified as the girl with acne. Trust me I can’t go around hiding myself because am scared of what people will say.
I always thought I was beautiful before the pimples kicked in. That’s what happens we think to ourselves if only I was thinner then I’d be beautiful. Mine was “if only I got rid of the acne on my face I would be beautiful”.
My flaws were eating away my confidence slowly until I didn’t think I was beautiful anymore. I doubted my beauty.
We all have our fair share of of things we consider imperfections, some don’t like their smiles to having small breasts, freckles, body hair, scars, stretch marks and cellulite.
To be real with you, i am learning. I am learning to not let the acne and black heads on my face destroy my self worth and self esteem. I am learning to not let people’s comments about how I look get to me. I am learning to still see myself as beautiful despite being that girl with the acne on her face because I am beautiful. I am learning to embrace my imperfections and am realizing that they make me more beautiful.
I was watching outpatients on fox life and there was a girl who got burned with an iron on the left side of her face when she was young. She went in to get her pigmentation fixed as well as fix her eyebrows so they could be symetrical. I had been taking this subject lightly until I saw that. I realize how much harm a scar like that can do to your self confidence. I am just gonna say that it’s not easy for people who have more permanent scars like those. Am not here to talk about which flaws affect people most but rather to help you embrace yourself wholly no matter the type and magnitude of physical flaws that you have.
So how do you go from thinking you are not beautiful to embracing your flaws?
Change your thoughts
I cannot stress enough the power of the mind in materializing our thoughts. I believe that accepting yourself comes from the inside. If all you think about is how lacking you are in the beauty department that is all that you will be feeling. You will walk around with no self confidence and your self esteem will be at all records low. Change your thoughts, see your imperfections as a symbol of character. Our scars show the battles we’ve survived. Our imperfections symbolize authenticity , it shows that we have the courage to embrace ourselves and love ourselves for who we are.Beauty starts from the inside. It starts with feeling beautiful and radiates to the outside. Ever noticed how we glow differently when we think we are beautiful? We carry ourselves differently in short we radiate a special kind of beauty. So i implore you to look within you and see that you are beautiful no matter what impefections you have. You are enough.
Avoid self criticism
We all have that inner chatterbox that doesn’t seem to stop making us feel small because of our flaws. We look in the mirror and it says “girl your teeth are too big, you are not pretty and no one can accept you”. Chatterboxes can be really annoying especially when it’s coming from your mind. So how do you tone it down a notch? This is all up to you because there are so many ways to stop negative thoughts. You can snap yourself out of the negative train of thoughts or you can internalize positive affirmations to replace the negative thoughts. Do not criticize yourself , treat yourself from a place of empathy. You are a beautiful soul , tall, short, thin, fat, black, white, pimples or no pimples no matter how you think you look like. Embrace yourself wholly.
Accept praise from others
I have done this before and am sure some of you may recognize this.
Friend: Looking good gurrl!
Me: oh stop it you!
It just shows how lowly you think of yourself when you do that. They mean it when they say that and the least you can do is say thank you and accept the praise. The praise also help you see the things that others see in you but you don’t because you are focusing on what is wrong with you that you fail to recognize the good in you.
Love yourself regardless
In everything that you choose to do with your body make sure you come from a place of love first. Yes!! love that face filled with freckles, love your body with the love handles , love that gummy smile and that amazingly thin body. When you do that you can make healthy choices for your body and not those that jeopardize your well-being. It is also important to know that it is hard to love yourself when you don’t like what you see in the mirror. That is why it is imperative that we look beyond our flaws and notice the parts of ourselves that we are proud of. It might be your character of other parts of your body.
This leads us to our next strategy which is to focus on the good. This really works ,I Know because I’ve done it before. You might have a crooked smile but you may also have a great body structure. If I were you I’d focus on the things I love about myself. I love my hair, it is kinky , natural in short beautiful. What parts of your body do you love? Focusing on the positives brings about a positive train of thoughts that leave you feeling great.
Recognize unrealistic standards
Everybody is posting perfect pictures of themselves on social media that we tend to think that they are perfect. Magazines showcasing these really thin flawless models. These are the kind of beauty standards that have been set up for us. To be real with you they are “unrealistic”. We all can’t be thin, fair skinned and have doll faces. Conformity is boring, be unique, standout and live by your own standards of beauty. The key to accepting yourself is to realize that you don’t have to be driven by these impossible standards. In place of that be yourself, love yourself flaws and all.
Take power, take control, Don’t be a victim.
Embrace your flaws and know that you are beautiful still. There is beauty in all of us. You are flawsome. When you do so people’s comments about how you look will not bother you anymore because you are coming from a place of acceptance and love. This brings you freedom from trying to reach those impossible beauty standards. Reclaim your power , you are in control of how you feel, you can either feel proud of yourself or be a victim of circumstances, choose.
Be more accepting of your flaws. Many times when we feel that something is wrong with us we tend to hide these parts of ourselves. We forget that these parts are what makes us human in other words relatable. Those scars are your battle scars they should be inspiring showing people how far you’ve come to get here. Trust me nobody is perfect and if only we didn’t hide our imperfections the world would be more accepting of people with some. But because we spend most time trying to hide so we can look perfect it becomes less easy to be accepted for who we really are.
Embracing yourself comes with it’s benefits.
Do you know how wonderful it feels like to be loved despite your imperfection? You cannot experience this if you spend most of your time trying to be perfect. To those who do then it is the greatest feeling ever. To be loved despite of the things the world frowns on, on your body.
Ooh and the freedom that comes with it! Embracing yourself comes with a freedom to be who you are. Suddenly you become at peace with yourself because you don’t have to strive for unrealistic standards. You just have to be , you.
Finally , a person who is more accepting of their imperfections is more likely to be accepting of others flaws. What a world it would be if people treated each other with empathy.
I realize that some issues go deeper than others and seeking professional help would really be important. It would help to visit your counselor if you are at school and there are also credible therapists that you can contact online . These people will generally help you navigate your feelings regarding the way you look. Remember that your mental health is really important.
Be your own beautiful, own your own sexy, we weren’t all created to be the same. You are Flawsome.